Theme: How do we navigate the waters,
shoals, and reefs of desire?
The word “desire” evokes so much:
* What are my desires, and what don’t I desire?
* What are my partner’s desires and what don’t they desire,
* What are the group’s desires and are they the same or different from my own?
* How do we negotiate/collaborate/celebrate our differences?
* What is the difference between neediness and desire: to be already “filled with desire.” Not about the attainment of something.
* What about sexual desire?
* What about the Buddhist principle of desire being the source of all suffering?
desire:
c.1230, from O.Fr. desirer, from L. desiderare "long for,
wish for," original sense perhaps "await what the stars
will bring," from the phrase de sidere "from the stars,"
from sidus (gen. sideris) "heavenly body, star, constellation"
We took a moment in silence to feel into this multi-faceted gem of a theme. And we took time to feel into our own desires for the evening before moving into our solo warm-ups.
Here are some notes from what people reported in the closing circle or emailed after the jam:
* At the end of the jam am I sated when my desires have been fulfilled? No, I’m more sated when I’ve discovered what I didn’t even know I was seeking.
* When you don’t get your desire what do you do? Pursue it aggressively? Sit and mope? Become a chameleon and take on your partner’s desires?
* When I put my attention on desire, it fans the flames of desire. Tonight some desires were met, some not — now I feel tender and raw.
* I entered a dance tonight not “desiring” but curious. Maybe it is a desire, but a desire to be open to what is present. Could this be why so many sublime dances happen with people I’ve never danced with before, because I enter without expectations, I don’t bring so many desires to the dance?
* I had an unmet desire—to once again dance with my 26 year old body!
* Desire can explode into passion, but it is the intention that funnels it into making art.
* I was sitting on the side and realized my body wanted to move. So I placed myself in the middle of the room and lo, I ended up in all these juicy dances.
* I went with my desires, the impulses—to linger, to grab, to release, to simply try stuff. My surprise was it never felt awkward.
* I was really aware of the difference between wanting and desiring. The wanting had a feel of lack in it. The desire was already full in itself. Tonight my dances were not about lack, but about being present where I was—which is not usual for me.
* Last night I was dancing with a man I am quite attracted to. I have been feeling his signals of attraction to me for some time. He’s with others, I’m married-- how do we navigate the desire in the dance? Where is it felt, throttled, expressed, met, inhibited?
* My native pattern is to follow what my partner is doing. And that is what I did tonight. I kept asking myself if this was OK. And yes it was. I’m not so sure that this is so Ok out in my regular life however.
* I enjoyed noticing (or projecting?) my partner’s desires as a catalyst for my own desires.
* The word desire has a certain indulgence implied in it. When I arrived and saw the sign hanging on the door with “DESIRE” printed in bold, it gave permission to indulge.
* I notice that as the jam begins there are people I DON’T want to have my warm-up dance with. The first dance is so important for how my entire jam goes that I have a select few that feel ‘safe.’ When they are not available I grumble inside. When they are I bring a great deal of expectation to how that dance will go-- and it’s often so.
* I desired a hard on last night to let my partner know in no uncertain terms that I was attracted to her. All the other signs were flowing between us. I wanted it to go another step. The lights were too bright. It felt too public.
* I had a desire to surrender the fucking machinations in my head and enter the dancing recklessly -- raw.
* I noticed the complexities of my desires. I have very few moments with extended desires. Normally I have a desire for this movement or that movement, but not something that extends in time.
* Desire, desire, desire -- I want more intimacy, I want more athleticism, I want to be met more sensitively, I want a dancing body that is ten years younger, more agile, strong, sensitive. I desire the world to be a safe place for our children. I want to have more lovemaking outside.
* This focus opened up a space for me to just cry tonight. Which is something I’ve needed to do for weeks. Then was dancing was extremely present.
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